Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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