Jerry, you need to find god
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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