with your own penis?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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