She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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