Ambien. No doubt about it.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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