What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
