Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
