i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize