He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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