so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
