he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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