we're blogging at a bar
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
