finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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