That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
