We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
