and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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