please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize