Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
