Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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