Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
