i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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