you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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