If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
