I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Two words: blizzard sex
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
