Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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