Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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