I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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