FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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