dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
