i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
