Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
