we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
soo... how was my night?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
