When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize