So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
how does that bad decision feel?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
