He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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