On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
