Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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