# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
