ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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