like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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