New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
