Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
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I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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