I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
