You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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