I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
