Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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