its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
