I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize