Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
