just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
