I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
