What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
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