no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
