if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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