i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize