i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
