did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you didnt know i had herpes?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
