Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
