I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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