If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
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I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
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Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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