What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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