How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
