Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I will pee on everything he values.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
