you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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