It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
