I heard we made out
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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