Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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