my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
