Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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