Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
