so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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